1Now Jesus was praying in a certain place, and when he finished, one of his disciples said to him, "Lord, teach us to pray"...
5And he said to them, "Which of you who has a friend will go to him at midnight and say to him, 'Friend, lend me three loaves, 6for a friend of mine has arrived on a journey, and I have nothing to set before him'; 7and he will answer from within,
'Do not bother me; the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed. I cannot get up and give you anything'?
8I tell you, though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his impudence [boldness, persistence, insistence, importunity, shamelessness, and shameless audacity] he will rise and give him whatever he needs.
9And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 10For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.
11What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; 12or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? 13If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"
I like this passage. Verses 2-4, which I did not include here, is part of the "Lord's Prayer". I think too many people focus on that part of Jesus' answer than this part. Books upon books have been written on the Lord's Prayer, and yet I feel the next part of the chapter is what gets to me. I have heard one sermon on this passage years ago, and it still sticks with me.
If we are passive when we go to Christ with our needs and concerns, we may not get didily squat. As in this passage... if you go and ask once and don't get an answer right away, or even a "no", don't quit. Don't stop asking. Don't give up because you think it's a hopeless cause. Stand out in the street in the middle of the night, banging on Christ's door begging for whatever you may need. I believe Christ will honor our persistence... as this is how He told us to pray.
Christ is unchanging, yes. But that does not mean that He can't change a "no" to a "yes". That does not change who He is. And above all, His will shall be done, I understand that. But taking that into consideration, I do not believe we should go passively before our God just because, ultimately, His will will be done. We need to be bold, and have shameless audacity before His throne. We need to get on our knees and beg.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
John 16:33
Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.
In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."
In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world."
In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I've conquered the world."
In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]
While you are in the world, you will have to suffer. But cheer up! I have defeated the world.
In this world you will have trouble, but be brave! I have defeated the world."
In this world you will experience trials and sorrow, trouble, tribulation, difficulties, distress and frustration, you will have to suffer... but take heart and be of good cheer, be couragous and confident, certain and undaunted, be brave, and be glad because Christ has overcome and conquered the world... He has defeated and won the battle over the world. Cheer up! For it is He who holds all the power over the world.
I realize that you can't just do this to scripture, but I just did. I think it adds so much meaning to the verse... it's probably something like what the Message would say, ha.
This verse is what our three week series at youth group is on. It's pretty intense. Everyone can relate to trials... For everyone has gone through them, is going through them, or will go through them... many I'd say fall into all three catergorizes.
In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."
In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world."
In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I've conquered the world."
In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]
While you are in the world, you will have to suffer. But cheer up! I have defeated the world.
In this world you will have trouble, but be brave! I have defeated the world."
You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world."
In this world you will have trouble. But cheer up! I have won the battle over the world."
The world will trouble you much. But be glad. I have power over the world.'
Put it all together:
In this world you will experience trials and sorrow, trouble, tribulation, difficulties, distress and frustration, you will have to suffer... but take heart and be of good cheer, be couragous and confident, certain and undaunted, be brave, and be glad because Christ has overcome and conquered the world... He has defeated and won the battle over the world. Cheer up! For it is He who holds all the power over the world.
I realize that you can't just do this to scripture, but I just did. I think it adds so much meaning to the verse... it's probably something like what the Message would say, ha.
This verse is what our three week series at youth group is on. It's pretty intense. Everyone can relate to trials... For everyone has gone through them, is going through them, or will go through them... many I'd say fall into all three catergorizes.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
my car, the weatherman
It was the fall of my junior year of high school when I was blessed with the most weird looking car that ever did exist. One night while talking online to my friends Charles Eiden and Nathan Strom I asked them each for a name, one gave me the name "Harvey" the other "Winslow" -- thus Harvey Winslow became the name of my tiny car.
I live in Minnesota... always have. It gets cold here. Lately, it has gotten extremely cold... I haven't thought it's been that bad, if we're being serious. But apparently we've hit a few record lows. All this to say, I wouldn't know it's cold outside if I didn't watch the forcast [which rarely happens]. I realize that for the past few weeks it's been below zero, but beyond that I wouldn't know-- it all feels the same to me.
Now, "How do these two things relate?" you may ask. Let me tell you... my car lets me know if it's cold out or not.
If it's -5 or above: you don't have to let it warm up... it won't even make that high-pitched noise when you turn it on... it's a good little car like that... minnesotan, no doubt.
If it's -10 or below: the automatic locks no longer work [they try -- it sounds like they are unlocking, but are most definately not].
If it's -20 or below: if you don't let it warm up, take into consideration that the brakes are frozen and won't work [you can push all you want, but they aren't budging] for awhile, so be sure to let it warm up.
If it's -35 or below: don't drive. the little car still turns on and will run [it's very good like that - most people's cars won't start. mine... always starts.] but even though it will still run, there is no need to be outside in that weather.
I live in Minnesota... always have. It gets cold here. Lately, it has gotten extremely cold... I haven't thought it's been that bad, if we're being serious. But apparently we've hit a few record lows. All this to say, I wouldn't know it's cold outside if I didn't watch the forcast [which rarely happens]. I realize that for the past few weeks it's been below zero, but beyond that I wouldn't know-- it all feels the same to me.
Now, "How do these two things relate?" you may ask. Let me tell you... my car lets me know if it's cold out or not.
If it's -5 or above: you don't have to let it warm up... it won't even make that high-pitched noise when you turn it on... it's a good little car like that... minnesotan, no doubt.
If it's -10 or below: the automatic locks no longer work [they try -- it sounds like they are unlocking, but are most definately not].
If it's -20 or below: if you don't let it warm up, take into consideration that the brakes are frozen and won't work [you can push all you want, but they aren't budging] for awhile, so be sure to let it warm up.
If it's -35 or below: don't drive. the little car still turns on and will run [it's very good like that - most people's cars won't start. mine... always starts.] but even though it will still run, there is no need to be outside in that weather.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
--on the perfect church--
“If I had never joined a church till I had found one that was perfect, I should never have joined one at all; and the moment I did join it, if I had found one, I should have spoiled it, for it would not have been a perfect church after I had become a member of it.
Still, imperfect as it is, it is the dearest place on earth to us.”
-- Charles Spurgeon --
Still, imperfect as it is, it is the dearest place on earth to us.”
-- Charles Spurgeon --
the joy of finding things you didn't even know were lost
so i found five dollars just now, and my first thought to myself was, "I'M RICH!"
...and that is how i know i'm still in college.
...and that is how i know i'm still in college.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
by your side
why are you still searching... as if i'm not enough...
these lyrics resonated with me tonight. i do not think that they describe me at this time, but nonetheless... they are powerful i do believe.
these lyrics resonated with me tonight. i do not think that they describe me at this time, but nonetheless... they are powerful i do believe.
Friday, January 09, 2009
somewhere over the rainbow
I think I have come to terms with the fact that for some reason [completely unknown to me] this is one of my favorite songs.
Now, this song has been redone hundreds of times. I do not like all the versions. On the contrary, I only like a few.
The few that are my favorites are as follows:
Israel Kamakawiwo'Ole: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2A2Jt4WOxN8
[He was a large Hawaiian man who had the most beautiful voice... In his version he added a few verses, but nonetheless, love the song.]
Jason Castro: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYd_doxZIYM
[He is just a white boy with some cool dreads. I think he was on 2008 American Idol. Didn't win, but left me with this wonderful version of the song. It seems to me that he tried to copy Israel's version of the song, yet stuck with the original lyrics.]
Shawn McDonald: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPmMa-NIf4Y
[He is a phenomenal musician all around, at least in my opinion. He too changes the lyrics, but only slightly, to go with his style of music.]
Me First and the Gimme Gimmes: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ymx8bHBigek
[This is one of my favorite versions, hah. I don't know how I originally got it, I've just had it on my computers since I was in middle school. Maybe Heath downloaded it at one point and I got hooked, not sure.]
Judy Garland, on the other hand, is not one of my favorite singers of the song. I can't stand her version... even though it was technically the first, being as the song was originally written for the movie The Wizard of Oz... she just doesn't cut it.
The original lyrics to...
Somewhere Over the Rainbow
...music by Harold Arlen
Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true
Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops way up above the chimney tops
Thats where you'll find me
Somewhere over the rainbow
Blue birds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I
If happy little blue birds fly across the rainbow
Why oh why can't I
Now, this song has been redone hundreds of times. I do not like all the versions. On the contrary, I only like a few.
The few that are my favorites are as follows:
Israel Kamakawiwo'Ole: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2A2Jt4WOxN8
[He was a large Hawaiian man who had the most beautiful voice... In his version he added a few verses, but nonetheless, love the song.]
Jason Castro: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYd_doxZIYM
[He is just a white boy with some cool dreads. I think he was on 2008 American Idol. Didn't win, but left me with this wonderful version of the song. It seems to me that he tried to copy Israel's version of the song, yet stuck with the original lyrics.]
Shawn McDonald: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPmMa-NIf4Y
[He is a phenomenal musician all around, at least in my opinion. He too changes the lyrics, but only slightly, to go with his style of music.]
Me First and the Gimme Gimmes: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ymx8bHBigek
[This is one of my favorite versions, hah. I don't know how I originally got it, I've just had it on my computers since I was in middle school. Maybe Heath downloaded it at one point and I got hooked, not sure.]
Judy Garland, on the other hand, is not one of my favorite singers of the song. I can't stand her version... even though it was technically the first, being as the song was originally written for the movie The Wizard of Oz... she just doesn't cut it.
The original lyrics to...
Somewhere Over the Rainbow
...music by Harold Arlen
...lyrics by E.Y. Harburg
Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true
Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops way up above the chimney tops
Thats where you'll find me
Somewhere over the rainbow
Blue birds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I
If happy little blue birds fly across the rainbow
Why oh why can't I
Monday, January 05, 2009
new years resolutions
I loath new years resolutions... with everything that's in me.
I realize that many people do not share my thoughts on the issue, and I am completely fine with that. I'm fine with other people having new years resolutions, but they are not for me.
HOWEVER...
I realized yesturday that last year I actually made a new years resolution, and to my great surprise, I actually made it the entire year and followed it! Blew my mind when I realized this.
I like buying clothes... and since I'm a bargain shopper, I never thought it was that big of a deal that i bought a lot of clothes. But when you put a lot of bargains together, they start to add up. Last year about this time I realized that and decided that I wasn't going to buy any clothes the entire year.
Now, realize that I already have plenty of clothes for all seasons, because of how much I loved to buy clothes... so this was a very realistic goal. Realistic in the sense that it was possible, but definately not plausible. I set the goal, knowing I couldn't follow it... nothing like setting yourself up for failure.
But here's the thing... I bought three articles of clothing last year. THREE. That's it! I still count that as succeeding in my goal, because come on, in all years previous I'd buy on average three things a week. Now, in my two things, I am not counting clothes for work or school, because those are neccesities that I wouldn't buy if I didn't have to, but I think that is legit.
Also, I think my three things were reasonable:
One: I camp sweatshirt. It was my 50% off item, so it was only like 10 bucks. And it'd almost be stupid not to buy something at fifty percent off.
Two: Camp sweat-pant shorts. Unneccesary, I will admit, so I'll leave it at that. BUT I do wear them a lot and love them... if that's any consolation.
Three: Jean shorts. It was towards the end of the summer, and at that point I always feel like a slob, because I've been wearing camp clothes all summer and that makes one feel gross. So I bought them to remind myself that I'm a girl and can look cute in summer clothes.
The end.
I realize that many people do not share my thoughts on the issue, and I am completely fine with that. I'm fine with other people having new years resolutions, but they are not for me.
HOWEVER...
I realized yesturday that last year I actually made a new years resolution, and to my great surprise, I actually made it the entire year and followed it! Blew my mind when I realized this.
I like buying clothes... and since I'm a bargain shopper, I never thought it was that big of a deal that i bought a lot of clothes. But when you put a lot of bargains together, they start to add up. Last year about this time I realized that and decided that I wasn't going to buy any clothes the entire year.
Now, realize that I already have plenty of clothes for all seasons, because of how much I loved to buy clothes... so this was a very realistic goal. Realistic in the sense that it was possible, but definately not plausible. I set the goal, knowing I couldn't follow it... nothing like setting yourself up for failure.
But here's the thing... I bought three articles of clothing last year. THREE. That's it! I still count that as succeeding in my goal, because come on, in all years previous I'd buy on average three things a week. Now, in my two things, I am not counting clothes for work or school, because those are neccesities that I wouldn't buy if I didn't have to, but I think that is legit.
Also, I think my three things were reasonable:
One: I camp sweatshirt. It was my 50% off item, so it was only like 10 bucks. And it'd almost be stupid not to buy something at fifty percent off.
Two: Camp sweat-pant shorts. Unneccesary, I will admit, so I'll leave it at that. BUT I do wear them a lot and love them... if that's any consolation.
Three: Jean shorts. It was towards the end of the summer, and at that point I always feel like a slob, because I've been wearing camp clothes all summer and that makes one feel gross. So I bought them to remind myself that I'm a girl and can look cute in summer clothes.
The end.
Sunday, January 04, 2009
I think they call it "break"
Most people call this time around Christmas a "break", but for me it is never really feels that way. It was good to get to go home for like five days, but it also would have been nice if it had been a bit longer. But then the day after Christmas I was right back to school... not that I don't enjoy it, but come on, you can't beat no school.
Eight things that happened over my "break":
1. The day of my last final I drove home and then proceeded over to my brothers house... where we played new-school [as opposed to old-school] sonic the hedgehog. It is way different then it used to be. I like the old-school one so much more. He also showed me his under-water computer, which took me a long time to actually believe. But then Hannah came home and she brought me to Overflow, which was cool, being as I'd never been there before. I thoroughly enjoyed my time with my siblings over break. I wish we got more time together. I miss them a lot.
2. Several times while I was home I went to what they call "trivia" with the boys [and sometimes Emily]. Although I've spent many summers with Rich and Taco, I still feel like I don't really know them... and yet those few nights we got to spend together were really nice to see them in a different context, I guess. They are a couple of amazing guys. And of course Matt was there too... and it always makes my day to be around him... always.
3. Christmas: was amazing. Very possibly the best Christmas I've ever experienced. My family does this thing called Minneapolis Miracle down in the cities... and this year, it was just better than before. It was incredibly fun, and I loved it. I think it's the best way possible to spend Christmas day... serving people... serving people in need. Not that I hadn't enjoyed it before, but I don't know... it was just amazing.
4. I know Christmas isn't about what you get, but this year, I felt more blessed then before. That might just be part of my selfishness coming out, but seriously... I felt truly blest. Maybe it's because this year I did not feel worthy of any gifts, or becuase I know my parents aren't as financially able as they have been in the past... but I was truly overwhelmed with what was given to me, regarless.
5. Then it was back up to school I go. Hockey started, and thus, I started. It has been really fun though, the girls are great, and I completely enjoy the trainers that I work with as well. And it's probably good that we have morning practices, so it keeps me on a semi-regular schedule as well.
6. One Sunday a few of my friends and I went snowboarding... I ended the night with broken bindings, and in the ER. Those two things were not related. In short: I broke my bindings, and Ryan broke his face. Basically, he went off a jump, and instead of landing with his board, he landed with his face, and because it was especially icy that day, consequently tore some of his face off. Thankfully, after only four hours of sitting in the ER, they decided that Ryan would live, and he has been doing quite well ever since. Although we all only got about 5 runs in at the slopes before we had to leave rather quickly, the night didn't turn out so bad. The ER visit was actually quite entertaining. I had the privilege of waiting in the [kids] waiting room with two of the funniest guys I know... and finally saw the movie Peter Pan for the first time ever. Also, I was able to get my bindings fixed free of charge, due to the fact it was a manufacturing mistake, which was a sweet deal.
7. New Years Eve: It was the first year in like seven years that I was not in Upsala for new years eve. Not gonna lie, going into the night, I was unsure at how it would go... I didn't really know how to spend a new years eve not at the all-nighter in upsala. But it turned into a very amazing night. My youth group had a party, in which I of course attended, and had a blast. My girls are entirely amazing, and I love getting to know them more on a friend basis. I loved it. So much fun.
8. New Years Day after practice [yes we had early morning practice -- that was enjoyable] when I realized that I had almost 24 hours off from school, as I didn't have to go in until the evening the following day, I packed up and headed to Upsala to hang out with one of my favorite people in the world... if I'm allowed to say that... I had a blast, like usual... we didn't do much, but we always have fun just sitting there talking, so I'm cool with that... it's actually comical to me how much of nothing we do together and we both enjoy it entirely. I just like hanging out with her, I guess, no matter what we do. Then we finally decided what we wanted to do at like 11pm, which was going on a road trip, hah. That was exciting. And consequently made for another late night. I love Hannah.
So that is my "break" in a nutshell. I actually just found out yesturday that classes don't start again until next week. So I get another week "off" which is nice. Although I still have school every day, hockey is so much better than classes. Hands down.
Eight things that happened over my "break":
1. The day of my last final I drove home and then proceeded over to my brothers house... where we played new-school [as opposed to old-school] sonic the hedgehog. It is way different then it used to be. I like the old-school one so much more. He also showed me his under-water computer, which took me a long time to actually believe. But then Hannah came home and she brought me to Overflow, which was cool, being as I'd never been there before. I thoroughly enjoyed my time with my siblings over break. I wish we got more time together. I miss them a lot.
2. Several times while I was home I went to what they call "trivia" with the boys [and sometimes Emily]. Although I've spent many summers with Rich and Taco, I still feel like I don't really know them... and yet those few nights we got to spend together were really nice to see them in a different context, I guess. They are a couple of amazing guys. And of course Matt was there too... and it always makes my day to be around him... always.
3. Christmas: was amazing. Very possibly the best Christmas I've ever experienced. My family does this thing called Minneapolis Miracle down in the cities... and this year, it was just better than before. It was incredibly fun, and I loved it. I think it's the best way possible to spend Christmas day... serving people... serving people in need. Not that I hadn't enjoyed it before, but I don't know... it was just amazing.
4. I know Christmas isn't about what you get, but this year, I felt more blessed then before. That might just be part of my selfishness coming out, but seriously... I felt truly blest. Maybe it's because this year I did not feel worthy of any gifts, or becuase I know my parents aren't as financially able as they have been in the past... but I was truly overwhelmed with what was given to me, regarless.
5. Then it was back up to school I go. Hockey started, and thus, I started. It has been really fun though, the girls are great, and I completely enjoy the trainers that I work with as well. And it's probably good that we have morning practices, so it keeps me on a semi-regular schedule as well.
6. One Sunday a few of my friends and I went snowboarding... I ended the night with broken bindings, and in the ER. Those two things were not related. In short: I broke my bindings, and Ryan broke his face. Basically, he went off a jump, and instead of landing with his board, he landed with his face, and because it was especially icy that day, consequently tore some of his face off. Thankfully, after only four hours of sitting in the ER, they decided that Ryan would live, and he has been doing quite well ever since. Although we all only got about 5 runs in at the slopes before we had to leave rather quickly, the night didn't turn out so bad. The ER visit was actually quite entertaining. I had the privilege of waiting in the [kids] waiting room with two of the funniest guys I know... and finally saw the movie Peter Pan for the first time ever. Also, I was able to get my bindings fixed free of charge, due to the fact it was a manufacturing mistake, which was a sweet deal.
7. New Years Eve: It was the first year in like seven years that I was not in Upsala for new years eve. Not gonna lie, going into the night, I was unsure at how it would go... I didn't really know how to spend a new years eve not at the all-nighter in upsala. But it turned into a very amazing night. My youth group had a party, in which I of course attended, and had a blast. My girls are entirely amazing, and I love getting to know them more on a friend basis. I loved it. So much fun.
8. New Years Day after practice [yes we had early morning practice -- that was enjoyable] when I realized that I had almost 24 hours off from school, as I didn't have to go in until the evening the following day, I packed up and headed to Upsala to hang out with one of my favorite people in the world... if I'm allowed to say that... I had a blast, like usual... we didn't do much, but we always have fun just sitting there talking, so I'm cool with that... it's actually comical to me how much of nothing we do together and we both enjoy it entirely. I just like hanging out with her, I guess, no matter what we do. Then we finally decided what we wanted to do at like 11pm, which was going on a road trip, hah. That was exciting. And consequently made for another late night. I love Hannah.
So that is my "break" in a nutshell. I actually just found out yesturday that classes don't start again until next week. So I get another week "off" which is nice. Although I still have school every day, hockey is so much better than classes. Hands down.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
passion and perspective
I was told that two things you should never lose, above all, are passion and perspective. This is something I've been meaning to look into, but unfortunately my schedule has not warranted it. I've thought about it quite a bit, however, and it seems to be legit. But I figured that if I post about it like this, I'll be more likely to remember and look into it sooner... almost just to justify to myself that it is a true statement... because I feel like those two characteristics cover over almost everything else. I mean, if you have the correct perspective on things, that in and of itself is a huge battle. Once you see things clearly, and situations come to make sense [at least as much sense as God warrents... as He is all-knowing and we are not], there is not much else you need. Once you realize that God is sovereign in all circumstances [thus gaining perspective], there should be no more fear, no more worry, no more impatience, ect... and from that, even joy can be stemmed... because there is joy in knowing the sovereignty of God. So many things follow after you gain a correct perspective on things.
And then there is passion. I suppose you could say that somehow passion could be stemmed from perspective as well... but I like that it was also stated as a necessity. At least it is something that I've definately found to be true... passion is a must. Once you lose passion... you lose everything. If that desire for God is gone, it is incredibly hard to continue pursuing Him. Possible? of course... we aren't going to always FEEL like pursuing God. But I think passion pushes past feelings. It is a desire that comes from deep within us...
Okay so I wasn't going to rant about this tonight, but I guess it happened anyways. I have absolutely nothing to back me up, these are just the ramblings thoughts rolling around in my head. [as i read back through the post i realize that it is clear that i am very lethargic and my thoughts do not connect... oh well]
And at this point in time, I just wish that it wasn't so unbelievably hot in here so maybe I'd at least have a chance at breathing.
And then there is passion. I suppose you could say that somehow passion could be stemmed from perspective as well... but I like that it was also stated as a necessity. At least it is something that I've definately found to be true... passion is a must. Once you lose passion... you lose everything. If that desire for God is gone, it is incredibly hard to continue pursuing Him. Possible? of course... we aren't going to always FEEL like pursuing God. But I think passion pushes past feelings. It is a desire that comes from deep within us...
Okay so I wasn't going to rant about this tonight, but I guess it happened anyways. I have absolutely nothing to back me up, these are just the ramblings thoughts rolling around in my head. [as i read back through the post i realize that it is clear that i am very lethargic and my thoughts do not connect... oh well]
And at this point in time, I just wish that it wasn't so unbelievably hot in here so maybe I'd at least have a chance at breathing.
Monday, December 08, 2008
thanks friend ryan.
Monday, December 01, 2008
the things we do
10 Things You Could Say to 10 Different People:
1) Be my portion, forever.
2) Sleeping under the stars with you are some of my fondest memories.
3) Your kids are beautiful -- and they get it from you.
4) You're one friend I never want to lose, no matter what... but unfortunately, it'll probably happen.
5) For you, I will.
6) I wonder what it would be like if we were still friends.
7) I wish with everything in me that you didn't live so far away.
8) So many times I wish I never knew you... but once in awhile I remember a good time, and smile.
9) Most of my Batman things came from you, thank you.
10) I pray all the time that your lungs will heal.
9 Things About Yourself:
1) I care more than I show.
2) I'll never tell you that I love you if it's not true.
3) I don't trust easily.
4) I'm in pain most of the time.
5) I'll always dress how I want.
6) I sleep with a fan on, every night.
7) I have a pharmacy in my room -- you need it, I have it.
8) I wake up every morning wishing I had gone to sleep earlier.
9) I am batman.
8 Ways to Win My Heart:
1) Make me laugh.
2) Do something stupid, and mean it.
3) Be broken.
4) Read between the lines.
5) Sing.
6) Be vulnerable.
7) Listen.
8) Be patient.
7 Things That Cross my Mind A lot:
1) I wish I was sleeping.
2) I'd be able to see better if my glasses were clean.
3) Background music to my life would be nice.
4) I don't think the proff would mind if I just took a short nap...
5) Gross, my toe nails are not painted.
6) Can I afford it? Nope.
7) Certain friends.
6 Things I Have to do Before I Die:
1) Snowboard on power-puff mountains.
2) Never regret.
3) Always say what's on my mind.
4) Love.
5) Allow myself to be loved.
6) Worship without hesitation.
5 People Who Mean A Lot to You at The Moment:
1) Matthew Louis
2) Hannah Christene
3) Emily Grace
4) Ansley Blaire
5) Toni Charlene
4 Things You Can See Right Now:
1) A few pictures of my beautiful friends.
2) Batman towel.
3) Picture of Jeff Gordon, number 24.
4) My computer screen.
3 Bands You Listen to Often:
1) Hedley
2) Just Surrender
3) Waking Ashland
2 Things You do Before Bed:
1) Turn off the computer and lights.
2) Turn on the fan.
1 Confession:
1) Sometimes I think I care too much.
1) Be my portion, forever.
2) Sleeping under the stars with you are some of my fondest memories.
3) Your kids are beautiful -- and they get it from you.
4) You're one friend I never want to lose, no matter what... but unfortunately, it'll probably happen.
5) For you, I will.
6) I wonder what it would be like if we were still friends.
7) I wish with everything in me that you didn't live so far away.
8) So many times I wish I never knew you... but once in awhile I remember a good time, and smile.
9) Most of my Batman things came from you, thank you.
10) I pray all the time that your lungs will heal.
9 Things About Yourself:
1) I care more than I show.
2) I'll never tell you that I love you if it's not true.
3) I don't trust easily.
4) I'm in pain most of the time.
5) I'll always dress how I want.
6) I sleep with a fan on, every night.
7) I have a pharmacy in my room -- you need it, I have it.
8) I wake up every morning wishing I had gone to sleep earlier.
9) I am batman.
8 Ways to Win My Heart:
1) Make me laugh.
2) Do something stupid, and mean it.
3) Be broken.
4) Read between the lines.
5) Sing.
6) Be vulnerable.
7) Listen.
8) Be patient.
7 Things That Cross my Mind A lot:
1) I wish I was sleeping.
2) I'd be able to see better if my glasses were clean.
3) Background music to my life would be nice.
4) I don't think the proff would mind if I just took a short nap...
5) Gross, my toe nails are not painted.
6) Can I afford it? Nope.
7) Certain friends.
6 Things I Have to do Before I Die:
1) Snowboard on power-puff mountains.
2) Never regret.
3) Always say what's on my mind.
4) Love.
5) Allow myself to be loved.
6) Worship without hesitation.
5 People Who Mean A Lot to You at The Moment:
1) Matthew Louis
2) Hannah Christene
3) Emily Grace
4) Ansley Blaire
5) Toni Charlene
4 Things You Can See Right Now:
1) A few pictures of my beautiful friends.
2) Batman towel.
3) Picture of Jeff Gordon, number 24.
4) My computer screen.
3 Bands You Listen to Often:
1) Hedley
2) Just Surrender
3) Waking Ashland
2 Things You do Before Bed:
1) Turn off the computer and lights.
2) Turn on the fan.
1 Confession:
1) Sometimes I think I care too much.
Monday, November 24, 2008
"unless you are an expert..."
Studying for a test, I came across the line in a book while discussing how to treat snakebites...
"Unless you are an expert in capturing snakes, do not try to catch it."
That got me thinking. How do you know if you're an expert in catching snakes? One might even work for animal control, and still not be an expert. When is one qualified as an expert in something? Is it once they've had extensive training in something, such as gotten their masters in a particular subject?
Could not someone assume if they used to catch snakes as a child, that they are now an expert? They may feel that this book is giving them full permission to attempt to capture a very large poisonous animal.
Just some thoughts that came to mind... and I thought I'd jot them down... mostly to postpone studying.
"Unless you are an expert in capturing snakes, do not try to catch it."
That got me thinking. How do you know if you're an expert in catching snakes? One might even work for animal control, and still not be an expert. When is one qualified as an expert in something? Is it once they've had extensive training in something, such as gotten their masters in a particular subject?
Could not someone assume if they used to catch snakes as a child, that they are now an expert? They may feel that this book is giving them full permission to attempt to capture a very large poisonous animal.
Just some thoughts that came to mind... and I thought I'd jot them down... mostly to postpone studying.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
let's start at the very beginning...
...it's a very good place to start.
I am someone who has a pretty open relationship with God, as in, I talk to Him quite frequently throughout each day, but I think my problem is I forget that I can talk to God about me... I'm a pro at bringing other people to God in prayer, at asking for others' needs, asking for healing for other people, talking to God about other peoples' relationships... but when it comes to me, I just don't.
I'm not sure what the deal is, but I forget that I can ask God for things in my own life as well...
"Help me to not feel self conscious"
"Let me know how to handle this situation"
"Should I like him? Shouldn't I like him?"
"Help me not to dwell on things I shouldn't"
"Grant me confidence"
"Give me strength"
"Please heal me"
"Come to my rescue"
"Let me forget the past"
"Carry my burdens"
"Take these thoughts away from me"
"Show me your will"
"Teach me your ways"
"Show me how to be loved"
They are all prayers that I need... yet I feel so selfish when I pray for them. It's so much easier to pray for other people, but I've come to realize that I also need to lift myself up in prayer... for it is a relationship between ME and GOD... In a relationship you talk to the other person about yourself, not just about all of your friends.
So I'm going to try to get back to the basics...
A conversation between me and God, about me and God.
Sounds like a plan to me.
I am someone who has a pretty open relationship with God, as in, I talk to Him quite frequently throughout each day, but I think my problem is I forget that I can talk to God about me... I'm a pro at bringing other people to God in prayer, at asking for others' needs, asking for healing for other people, talking to God about other peoples' relationships... but when it comes to me, I just don't.
I'm not sure what the deal is, but I forget that I can ask God for things in my own life as well...
"Help me to not feel self conscious"
"Let me know how to handle this situation"
"Should I like him? Shouldn't I like him?"
"Help me not to dwell on things I shouldn't"
"Grant me confidence"
"Give me strength"
"Please heal me"
"Come to my rescue"
"Let me forget the past"
"Carry my burdens"
"Take these thoughts away from me"
"Show me your will"
"Teach me your ways"
"Show me how to be loved"
They are all prayers that I need... yet I feel so selfish when I pray for them. It's so much easier to pray for other people, but I've come to realize that I also need to lift myself up in prayer... for it is a relationship between ME and GOD... In a relationship you talk to the other person about yourself, not just about all of your friends.
So I'm going to try to get back to the basics...
A conversation between me and God, about me and God.
Sounds like a plan to me.
Friday, November 21, 2008
the genius of free chipotle
Today the Chipotle in St. Cloud gave out free burritos...
"Why?" You might ask, well let me tell you.
Today another taco/burrito place opened in St Cloud, though I do not recall the name of it. Some said that it was nasty of Chipotle to do this... giving free burritos so that no one would go to this new place and stole all their business... but I think it was genius. From a business stand point, it was pure genius.
I have never seen a line move so fast. The free burrito thing started at 2pm, and I, fortunately, was only about the 50th person in line -- I was outside, but not too far out, and once they started the line, I had my burrito in about three minutes... four tops. It was incredible. They had 5 or 6 people at the line throwing things on the burrito... it was intense. They must have had every employee working.
On top of the free burrito, they also had a free soda... at first, I questioned this, because even if a free soda was not in the equation, just as many people would have gone. I don't think anyone decided to only go once the free soda came into play. But then I realized it was probably due merely to efficiency. If people were trying to buy a soda to go along with their free burrito, this would have slowed down the line incredibly... so good thinking on their part.
Also, the only advertisement for this was through facebook. Facebook amazes me... I realize that it has more impact at the St. Cloud chipotle verses lets say the Coon Rapids one, because St Cloud is a college town and there are thousands of people on facebook in such a small radius. But the amount of people that were there right at 2pm, alone... holy crap. I got there at about 1:40, and by 2 o clock the line was about 200 meters long. Lots of people... thus, lots of free burritos. It'd be curious to know how much money they lost today... and if it was worth it. Will people now go their more because they got a free burrito? I know I won't. I'll go there the same amount I would have before, except it was nice to eat for free today... and I probably wouldn't have even known that the new place was opening if this whole shinanigan wouldn't have happened. All of this intrigues me.
"Why?" You might ask, well let me tell you.
Today another taco/burrito place opened in St Cloud, though I do not recall the name of it. Some said that it was nasty of Chipotle to do this... giving free burritos so that no one would go to this new place and stole all their business... but I think it was genius. From a business stand point, it was pure genius.
I have never seen a line move so fast. The free burrito thing started at 2pm, and I, fortunately, was only about the 50th person in line -- I was outside, but not too far out, and once they started the line, I had my burrito in about three minutes... four tops. It was incredible. They had 5 or 6 people at the line throwing things on the burrito... it was intense. They must have had every employee working.
On top of the free burrito, they also had a free soda... at first, I questioned this, because even if a free soda was not in the equation, just as many people would have gone. I don't think anyone decided to only go once the free soda came into play. But then I realized it was probably due merely to efficiency. If people were trying to buy a soda to go along with their free burrito, this would have slowed down the line incredibly... so good thinking on their part.
Also, the only advertisement for this was through facebook. Facebook amazes me... I realize that it has more impact at the St. Cloud chipotle verses lets say the Coon Rapids one, because St Cloud is a college town and there are thousands of people on facebook in such a small radius. But the amount of people that were there right at 2pm, alone... holy crap. I got there at about 1:40, and by 2 o clock the line was about 200 meters long. Lots of people... thus, lots of free burritos. It'd be curious to know how much money they lost today... and if it was worth it. Will people now go their more because they got a free burrito? I know I won't. I'll go there the same amount I would have before, except it was nice to eat for free today... and I probably wouldn't have even known that the new place was opening if this whole shinanigan wouldn't have happened. All of this intrigues me.
storypeople
These are my favorite storypeople quotes. They are as follows:
- I don't have many vices beyond caring what other people think, she said, but that's a big one.
- I don't think of it as working for world peace, he said. I think of it as just trying to get along in a really big strange family.
- Can I count on you to be there, no matter what? she said & I said no & she said what kind of friend are you? & I said the kind who won't lie to you any time you want.
- I like people until they give me reason not to, she said.Some days they just drop like flies, though, she added.
- Everything changed the day she figured out there was exactly enough time for the important things in her life.
- How'd it go at soccer? I said & he said we worked on fundamentals & I said like why you were even chasing around after a ball in the first place? & from the way he looked at me I figured out that was probably too fundamental.
- The first time I played golf, I had the most fun throwing bread to the goldfish in the pro shop. It made as much sense as anything else.
- I was never good at hide & seek because I'd always make enough noise so my friends would be sure to find me. I don't have anyone to play those games with any more, but now & then I make enough noise just in case someone is still looking & hasn't found me yet.
- I didn't listen to her because she was my mother & wouldn't know anything until I was much older.
- You're the strangest person I ever met, she said & I said you too & we decided we'd know each other a long time.
- I asked her what she planned to do with her life & she said she was way beyond that point already. I'm just happy I remember to be there when it happens, she said.
- I've had some of my best conversations with strangers, she said, because they have no idea who they're dealing with.
- It's hardest to love the ordinary things, she said, but you get lots of opportunities to practice.
- I finally got to exactly where I wanted to be, she said, so why won't all these growth experiences go away & leave me alone?
- I only do this until I get dizzy & then I lay down on my back & watch the clouds, she said. It sounds simple but you won't believe how many people forget the second part.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
11.20.2007
"Talent is cheap, dedication is costly." - Brian Budish
I will never forget him... but most of all, I will never forget how he showed me what it means to be truly humble... he was the most humble person I have ever known.
I will never forget him... but most of all, I will never forget how he showed me what it means to be truly humble... he was the most humble person I have ever known.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
favorite call
i have officially decided that my favorite call in basketball is and one.
this call either makes one very happy or very upset.
on one hand, you could have gone up for the shot and under much adversity (or just taken a foul), you made the shot anyways... and the best part is, you get a chance to make another point.
on the other hand, you were trying to prevent a shot, and did not succeed, and not only did the other person make the basket, they get a chance at another point. this is very upsetting, as you should have just fouled better and they only possibly would have gotten 2 instead of 3.
this call either makes one very happy or very upset.
on one hand, you could have gone up for the shot and under much adversity (or just taken a foul), you made the shot anyways... and the best part is, you get a chance to make another point.
on the other hand, you were trying to prevent a shot, and did not succeed, and not only did the other person make the basket, they get a chance at another point. this is very upsetting, as you should have just fouled better and they only possibly would have gotten 2 instead of 3.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
exhaustion vs. sleeping
NINE times out of TEN (i have not taken an actual count, i'm just guesstimating) I would rather stay awake until I'm completely exhausted and be able to fall asleep within a minute of my head hitting the pillow than have to lay there for who knows how long before I can actually fall asleep.
I hate that time between lying down and falling asleep.
It's when my thoughts go wild... my mind thinks about anything and everything (most of which I'd be better off not having thought about). Usually during the day I can do a pretty good job of preventing this from happening (it's one advantage of being so insanely busy), but once lying still, there is nothing from stopping my mind. Then it doesn't matter how tired I am, there isn't a chance of me falling asleep for hours due to the fact my mind has grabbed ahold of me and won't let me go.
It's torchure.
So I choose to stay awake, with my music as my company, until my eyes can no longer stay open. Which, consequently, means in the morning I'll have nothing left in me, but at least I didn't have to lay in agony the night before, and that's what counts. But as long as this is a ritual, it's not hard to reach the point of not being able to keep my eyes open, as I'm there most of the day anyways. But the problem is, night gives me energy... it always has.
I think many people deal with this problem of thoughts preventing them from sleeping... just maybe not a widely talked about subject. I don't know what others choose to do to cope with this, but I've found my solution. And although it may not make sense to anyone else, it makes sense to me... for I have tried the lying in bed with endless thoughts and I cannot take it anymore. I lived years of my life like that, and it got to be too much... too much for even me.
Just some thoughts from tonight... as I sit here not tired enough to fall asleep right away, so I had to occupy myself with something.
peace out home skillet
I hate that time between lying down and falling asleep.
It's when my thoughts go wild... my mind thinks about anything and everything (most of which I'd be better off not having thought about). Usually during the day I can do a pretty good job of preventing this from happening (it's one advantage of being so insanely busy), but once lying still, there is nothing from stopping my mind. Then it doesn't matter how tired I am, there isn't a chance of me falling asleep for hours due to the fact my mind has grabbed ahold of me and won't let me go.
It's torchure.
So I choose to stay awake, with my music as my company, until my eyes can no longer stay open. Which, consequently, means in the morning I'll have nothing left in me, but at least I didn't have to lay in agony the night before, and that's what counts. But as long as this is a ritual, it's not hard to reach the point of not being able to keep my eyes open, as I'm there most of the day anyways. But the problem is, night gives me energy... it always has.
I think many people deal with this problem of thoughts preventing them from sleeping... just maybe not a widely talked about subject. I don't know what others choose to do to cope with this, but I've found my solution. And although it may not make sense to anyone else, it makes sense to me... for I have tried the lying in bed with endless thoughts and I cannot take it anymore. I lived years of my life like that, and it got to be too much... too much for even me.
Just some thoughts from tonight... as I sit here not tired enough to fall asleep right away, so I had to occupy myself with something.
peace out home skillet
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