The Butterfly Effect
When the movie first came out, Heath saw it. I didn't. He said the movie was dumb and I shouldn't see it. Now, he's both a hard movie critic and an older brother, so I'm not sure if he told me it was dumb because he really didn't like it, or because it had "adult" content in it that he thought I shouldn't be watching. Probably both, it wasn't a movie that he would like. Either way, I didn't end up seeing it until tonight.
I'm actually not here to review the movie, that's why the 'of sorts' was tagged on to the title. I usually like Ashton Kutcher as an actor, so it helped that he was in it... specially because him and my cousin are pretty much home boys.
Anyways, if I took one thing away from the movie, it was that what we say and what we do have significance on the rest of our lives. We, unlike in the movie, will probably not ever realize the impact that certain situations and decisions have on the rest of our lives. But the fact is, every choice that is made, every word that is spoke, every action that is committed, has the opportunity to change both our and those around us's future -- for the good, or for the bad.
I guess with that in perspective, I might be a little bit more careful about what I say and do. I'd like to think that I already try to be conscienous of my words and actions, but the movie just made me more aware, at least for tonight.
Friday, May 08, 2009
.not.too.often.
So I have been excited for thunder storms to come. On Wednesday, I was blessed with a wonderfully violent thunderstorm that lasted for all of five minutes. Though the duration of the storm was small, the intensity was not. Within the short storm, the thunder roared and the ground shook. The rain poured, and the lightening struck.
Oh, did the lightening strike. It came all the way down from the beautifully black sky to touch the rain drenched ground. This particular lightening bolt was possibly the largest ever seen... and it's my guess that the bolt appeared so big because we (me and the rest of the people standing in the Westwood parking lot) had never seen a lightening bolt that up close and personal.
Minutes later sirens were coming from all over. First came the first responders in their vehicles, followed shortly by the police, fire department, and paramedics. People running from everywhere to get to the backyard of a house right across the street from Westwood. At this point all of us are standing out in the parking lot just watching all of this commosion, not entirely sure what to think of it. We could see what was going on. CPR was started... and it kept going... and going... (now, I had just passed my EMT national test on Monday, and one thing you know is that when CPR is initiated, usually the person doesn't make it - specially if the person doesn't come back right away). But then they stopped. Did the guy's heart start beating again? Or did they declare him? They put him on the stretcher and transported. He had made it... at least thus far.
So remember that lightening bolt that had touched down? Remember why it was so big? (cuz it was so close). Yeah... that's right. How often do you witness someone getting hit by a bolt of lightening?
.not.too.often.
Oh, did the lightening strike. It came all the way down from the beautifully black sky to touch the rain drenched ground. This particular lightening bolt was possibly the largest ever seen... and it's my guess that the bolt appeared so big because we (me and the rest of the people standing in the Westwood parking lot) had never seen a lightening bolt that up close and personal.
Minutes later sirens were coming from all over. First came the first responders in their vehicles, followed shortly by the police, fire department, and paramedics. People running from everywhere to get to the backyard of a house right across the street from Westwood. At this point all of us are standing out in the parking lot just watching all of this commosion, not entirely sure what to think of it. We could see what was going on. CPR was started... and it kept going... and going... (now, I had just passed my EMT national test on Monday, and one thing you know is that when CPR is initiated, usually the person doesn't make it - specially if the person doesn't come back right away). But then they stopped. Did the guy's heart start beating again? Or did they declare him? They put him on the stretcher and transported. He had made it... at least thus far.
So remember that lightening bolt that had touched down? Remember why it was so big? (cuz it was so close). Yeah... that's right. How often do you witness someone getting hit by a bolt of lightening?
.not.too.often.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
u.turn.
i guess it's possible for a crappy day to turn into a pretty alright day.
not that the prior events of the day somehow turned out to be not-so-bad.
but that the events at the end of the crappy day,
made the crappy day seem not-so-crappy.
if you're catchin' my drift.
if you put together:
friends
walmart
energy drinks
chocolate w/ peanut butter
toy guns that shoot little balls
52 pieces of chalk
slinkies
and pain killers
you get one amazing night.
throw in a skaliky plaza that is screaming to be covered in all those 52 pieces of chalk, and it only gets better...
not that the prior events of the day somehow turned out to be not-so-bad.
but that the events at the end of the crappy day,
made the crappy day seem not-so-crappy.
if you're catchin' my drift.
if you put together:
friends
walmart
energy drinks
chocolate w/ peanut butter
toy guns that shoot little balls
52 pieces of chalk
slinkies
and pain killers
you get one amazing night.
throw in a skaliky plaza that is screaming to be covered in all those 52 pieces of chalk, and it only gets better...
Monday, May 04, 2009
worst. birthday. ever.
woke up.
early.
sick.
feel gross.
pain.
stuffy nose.
headache.
prepare for presentation.
give presentation.
listen to hours of presentations.
go the doctor.
be in more pain.
leave my necklace at doctor.
i liked that necklace, dangit.
go to mexican village with 2 cool friends.
that part was fun.
go back to school.
take the biggest final of my life.
it was like 4 hours long.
finally done.
now it's late.
and i'm tired.
pain.
lots of pain.
headache.
early.
sick.
feel gross.
pain.
stuffy nose.
headache.
prepare for presentation.
give presentation.
listen to hours of presentations.
go the doctor.
be in more pain.
leave my necklace at doctor.
i liked that necklace, dangit.
go to mexican village with 2 cool friends.
that part was fun.
go back to school.
take the biggest final of my life.
it was like 4 hours long.
finally done.
now it's late.
and i'm tired.
pain.
lots of pain.
headache.
Friday, April 17, 2009
the hits just keep on coming
twenty-three year old's should not have heart attacks and die.
.period.
.period.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009
w.h.y.
i'd say that 'why' is the most asked question.
ever.
however, unfortunately, many times 'why' is a question that is never answered.
we will never know.
that's where trust comes in.
trust that God has a plan no matter what.
trust that even though there is sin in this world, God will make something beautiful out of our lives.
trust that a rainbow will come after the storm.
trust.
not always easy.
so many times i'd rather ask 'why'.
cam, why walk out in the middle of your song? why?
ever.
however, unfortunately, many times 'why' is a question that is never answered.
we will never know.
that's where trust comes in.
trust that God has a plan no matter what.
trust that even though there is sin in this world, God will make something beautiful out of our lives.
trust that a rainbow will come after the storm.
trust.
not always easy.
so many times i'd rather ask 'why'.
cam, why walk out in the middle of your song? why?
Saturday, April 11, 2009
and summer begins...
Bonfires on starry nights are quite possibly my favorite places to be... without a doubt in my mind. Tonight I attended my first bonfire of the season, and it was good.
The night started at a real-live honky-tonk bar. The kind with the bull to ride, the dance floor to swing dance on, and the old country music blaring loudly. It was a good time. It was definitely either a very redneck, or a very southern place to be... and being as we live in Minnesota, I'm going to go with redneck. An observation I had was that as the night went on and people had more alcohol in their system... they were better at staying on the bull, but this goes against all physiology i feel like.... but nonetheless, i still think it was true. It was a good time. Quite the experience.
Afterwhich, we went to a bonfire at a friend's house. We were all just sitting around, having a good time, when someone puts a glass bottle in the fire [cap on, mind you]. At this point it's getting late, and I'm pretty tired... I'm leaned forward in my chair, just staring at the fire... specifically the bottle in the fire, thinking to myself, "hhmmm... the cap is on that... it will probably explode..." But naturally, I don't say anything because I like fire and think it would be pretty cool if it did explode, not thinking the explosion would be too big if it did happen anyways. Sure enough BOOM -- it was so incredibly loud... glass flew everywhere... there was no reminence of the bottle anywhere, it was shattered to pieces... the glass flew in every direction and quite far, actually. Somehow, however, none of it touched me, and I was sitting right in front of it. Once the immediate panic died down, and the utter shock and amazement of what just happened had passed, someone took out a flashlight to look at all of the glass everywhere. It was at this point that we realized that one of my friends was covered in blood... the glass had apparently not missed him, but actually attacked him. He was sitting right next to me... so how he got it all, I'm not sure... but it was quite funny due to the fact that he felt nothing. I'm not saying he was completely sober, and thus is probably why he bled so much, but still. It was pretty funny that he had no clue that he had been cut open in numerous locations and had blood everwhere by the time he realized it.
And thus... summer begins. Bonfires begin. Starry nights begin. Memories begin.
...let the fun begin.*
[*disclaimer: i'm not saying there is no fun in the winter, but i'm saying something close to it. summer fun comes no where near winter fun. i realize it's a completely different kind of fun, but i think it's still a funner fun... a summer kind of fun.]
The night started at a real-live honky-tonk bar. The kind with the bull to ride, the dance floor to swing dance on, and the old country music blaring loudly. It was a good time. It was definitely either a very redneck, or a very southern place to be... and being as we live in Minnesota, I'm going to go with redneck. An observation I had was that as the night went on and people had more alcohol in their system... they were better at staying on the bull, but this goes against all physiology i feel like.... but nonetheless, i still think it was true. It was a good time. Quite the experience.
Afterwhich, we went to a bonfire at a friend's house. We were all just sitting around, having a good time, when someone puts a glass bottle in the fire [cap on, mind you]. At this point it's getting late, and I'm pretty tired... I'm leaned forward in my chair, just staring at the fire... specifically the bottle in the fire, thinking to myself, "hhmmm... the cap is on that... it will probably explode..." But naturally, I don't say anything because I like fire and think it would be pretty cool if it did explode, not thinking the explosion would be too big if it did happen anyways. Sure enough BOOM -- it was so incredibly loud... glass flew everywhere... there was no reminence of the bottle anywhere, it was shattered to pieces... the glass flew in every direction and quite far, actually. Somehow, however, none of it touched me, and I was sitting right in front of it. Once the immediate panic died down, and the utter shock and amazement of what just happened had passed, someone took out a flashlight to look at all of the glass everywhere. It was at this point that we realized that one of my friends was covered in blood... the glass had apparently not missed him, but actually attacked him. He was sitting right next to me... so how he got it all, I'm not sure... but it was quite funny due to the fact that he felt nothing. I'm not saying he was completely sober, and thus is probably why he bled so much, but still. It was pretty funny that he had no clue that he had been cut open in numerous locations and had blood everwhere by the time he realized it.
And thus... summer begins. Bonfires begin. Starry nights begin. Memories begin.
...let the fun begin.*
[*disclaimer: i'm not saying there is no fun in the winter, but i'm saying something close to it. summer fun comes no where near winter fun. i realize it's a completely different kind of fun, but i think it's still a funner fun... a summer kind of fun.]
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
the bare necessities
I've been thinking the past week or so, that it would be really nice if the bare necessities in life, were not a necessity at all. It would be nice to not crave sleep when it is all too often lacking. It would be nice not to have to listen and feel my stomach grumbling when I don't have time to give it the food it desires. These things would be nice. But what I think might be a bit nicer, is if these simple bare necessities were all the necessities that filled my day... and not all the other "necessities" that take away my ability to fulfill the natural cravings of my human body.
I did not intend to take the words of this tune from my childhood, but it seems as though I have, so I shall reminisce.
Look for the bare necessities
The simple bare necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
I mean the bare necessities
That's why a bear can rest at ease
With just the bare necessities of life
And don't spend your time lookin' around
For something you want that can't be found
When you find out you can live without it
And go along not thinkin' about it
I'll tell you something true
The bare necessities of life will find you
I did not intend to take the words of this tune from my childhood, but it seems as though I have, so I shall reminisce.
Look for the bare necessities
The simple bare necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
I mean the bare necessities
That's why a bear can rest at ease
With just the bare necessities of life
And don't spend your time lookin' around
For something you want that can't be found
When you find out you can live without it
And go along not thinkin' about it
I'll tell you something true
The bare necessities of life will find you
Friday, March 27, 2009
true beauty
FACT: i am a pyro. i love fire. i love watching things burn.
so tonight I witnessed something truly beautiful.... physics in action.
when you [or anyone, really] is pouring gas from a gas can onto a fire, the fire will travel up the flowing stream of gas and explode the gas can, engulfing it in flames.
at this point, you [or anyone] would no longer have the desire to be holding said can of gasoline.
at which point, you [or anyone in their right mind] would throw the flaming can away from your body [after running around with it for a little bit, of course, out of sheer panic].
now, only if you're really lucky, would this flaming gas can happen to land in a field of brush... of very dead and dried out grass and pine branches...
i'm guessing you can only assume that all of said brush also would immediately light on fire.
and i am here to tell you -- that is exactly what happened. and it was beautiful.
i am also here to tell you, to have no fear, for most of it was caught on tape
NOTE 1: we were able to eventually get the fire to stop, and we did not in turn burn down the woods, which we happen to be right next to... but it takes a LONG time to put out a fire that consists of gallons of gasoline on dead grass... it just keeps going and going. and when you try to put it out, you will in turn catch on fire [at least this is the probable occurence].
NOTE 2: when playing with fire, have water near by, because if something like this happens, it probably would be nice to have some water on hand... luckily [since we were not so smart], we live in MN and there is still snow on the ground which is kind of like water, and also works to put out fire...
so tonight I witnessed something truly beautiful.... physics in action.
when you [or anyone, really] is pouring gas from a gas can onto a fire, the fire will travel up the flowing stream of gas and explode the gas can, engulfing it in flames.
at this point, you [or anyone] would no longer have the desire to be holding said can of gasoline.
at which point, you [or anyone in their right mind] would throw the flaming can away from your body [after running around with it for a little bit, of course, out of sheer panic].
now, only if you're really lucky, would this flaming gas can happen to land in a field of brush... of very dead and dried out grass and pine branches...
i'm guessing you can only assume that all of said brush also would immediately light on fire.
and i am here to tell you -- that is exactly what happened. and it was beautiful.
i am also here to tell you, to have no fear, for most of it was caught on tape
NOTE 1: we were able to eventually get the fire to stop, and we did not in turn burn down the woods, which we happen to be right next to... but it takes a LONG time to put out a fire that consists of gallons of gasoline on dead grass... it just keeps going and going. and when you try to put it out, you will in turn catch on fire [at least this is the probable occurence].
NOTE 2: when playing with fire, have water near by, because if something like this happens, it probably would be nice to have some water on hand... luckily [since we were not so smart], we live in MN and there is still snow on the ground which is kind of like water, and also works to put out fire...
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
cancer sucks
dear jesus.
my best friend is really sick.
he is in a lot of pain and feels like hell.
sometimes he can't breathe at all.
he can't eat.
and yet he throws up still.
his whole body hurts all over really bad.
he has a high fever and is all stuffed up too.
and dear jesus.
i love him so much.
it hurts me to know that he has to live like this.
and jesus.
i think it hurts you to see him like this too.
so please heal him.
make his head feel better.
take his fever away.
settle his stomach.
breathe new and fresh oxygen into his lungs.
relax his muscles.
and jesus.
if you don't heal him, please give him strength to get through this.
he is so weak.
his body is so frail and fading too quickly.
you tell me that in our weaknesses, then you are strong.
so jesus.
please be his strength.
be his strength.
tonight i want nothing else.
and jesus.
tomorrow i'm going to want the same thing.
i love you.
a.d.p.
if by chance you know my friend as well, then you also know he doesn't like people knowing about how he's doing medically... but i also know that he truly covets your prayers... so please pray for his health... or at least for strength... or peace... or understanding... he hasn't been doing well, i guess you could say... so, thanks.
my best friend is really sick.
he is in a lot of pain and feels like hell.
sometimes he can't breathe at all.
he can't eat.
and yet he throws up still.
his whole body hurts all over really bad.
he has a high fever and is all stuffed up too.
and dear jesus.
i love him so much.
it hurts me to know that he has to live like this.
and jesus.
i think it hurts you to see him like this too.
so please heal him.
make his head feel better.
take his fever away.
settle his stomach.
breathe new and fresh oxygen into his lungs.
relax his muscles.
and jesus.
if you don't heal him, please give him strength to get through this.
he is so weak.
his body is so frail and fading too quickly.
you tell me that in our weaknesses, then you are strong.
so jesus.
please be his strength.
be his strength.
tonight i want nothing else.
and jesus.
tomorrow i'm going to want the same thing.
i love you.
a.d.p.
if by chance you know my friend as well, then you also know he doesn't like people knowing about how he's doing medically... but i also know that he truly covets your prayers... so please pray for his health... or at least for strength... or peace... or understanding... he hasn't been doing well, i guess you could say... so, thanks.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
L U T S E N
So this past weekend I went to Lutsen with some friends... I would definately say it was a blast. I haven't had that much fun in a long time... being cooped up in school 10 hours every day and all. It was nice to have a break and get out of town and away from the norm for awhile. And the slopes up at Lutsen are definately a lot better then all the ones around here. Hanging out with friends who could easily make me laugh was a huge plus too, of course. It brought much joy into my life, as well as much pain... physical pain, of course... but gotta take the good with the bad And I'd take this physical pain any day for another weekend like that.
This was 1/2 our group... notice the motel in the background... honestly the most shady motel ever. We arrived there on Friday the 13th and it felt like it was straight out of a horror flick. No joke. We had a lot of fun with that though... after the hebegeebee's left us, that is.
The top of this mtn had the best view. We could see several other "mtns" from here, as well as lake superior. It was b-e-a-utiful. It had just snowed 12-14inches on Tuesday, then was below zero until Friday when we got there when it was 30-50 degrees the whole time we were there... I don't think we could have had a more perfect weekend weather-wise.
Is there anything more comfortable to sleep on than a snowboard? Not then. At that point in time it felt like a warm comfy bed... I think we could have fallen asleep anywhere.
Soli Deo Gloria for such an amazing weekend...
it was greatly needed, and much appreciated.
This was 1/2 our group... notice the motel in the background... honestly the most shady motel ever. We arrived there on Friday the 13th and it felt like it was straight out of a horror flick. No joke. We had a lot of fun with that though... after the hebegeebee's left us, that is.
The top of this mtn had the best view. We could see several other "mtns" from here, as well as lake superior. It was b-e-a-utiful. It had just snowed 12-14inches on Tuesday, then was below zero until Friday when we got there when it was 30-50 degrees the whole time we were there... I don't think we could have had a more perfect weekend weather-wise.
Is there anything more comfortable to sleep on than a snowboard? Not then. At that point in time it felt like a warm comfy bed... I think we could have fallen asleep anywhere.
Soli Deo Gloria for such an amazing weekend...
it was greatly needed, and much appreciated.
i quit, i do not fail
To Fail: to fall short of success or achievement in something expected, attempted, desired, or approved
To Quit: to stop, cease, or discontinue
I, Ashley Danae Paddock, am a quitter.
Although I am a very competetive person, and in many things refuse to lose, refuse to give up until I've succeeded... or at least until I cannot physically go on any further... in many things, unfortunately, I would be considered a quitter.
I like to try new things. I like new experiences. I look at things other people can do and want them for myself... not in a jealous way, just in a "oh it would be cool if I could do that..." kind of way. So I attempt. And I usually suck at it, so I quit... without giving it a good enough try.
Many things have come easily to me in my life. If something doesn't come easy, and if I think it takes too much work... If I don't get "good" at it rather quickly, I'll quit... I'll deem it not worthy enough of my time. Because I see him and I see her and they are already so good at it... I could never be as good as them... or, at least it would take too much work... I want to already be good, I do not like the learning process.
Many things in life this aspect of my personality does not apply to... but for some, it does. I am trying to think of all the things I've quit in my life... but I can only think of a few. Now there are a handful of things in my life that I've had to quit due to [much hated] physical limitations... these are not what I'm referring to.
The things I'm referring to are the fact that my right hand never agreed with my left hand when trying to play the piano, or that putting strumming patterns together on a guitar was more difficult then desired, or just telling myself that i can't balance so the unicyle should just stay hanging in the garage, or just because heath got better than me at the bass, it had to be over for me... I quit.
I remember one time, several years ago, heath mentioned something to me about how I quit things. I think it was around the time I was thinking about buying a guitar before I knew how to play. At the time I was taken back by the statement, but lets be serious, it was true. And hey, I'm glad I never bought a guitar... me and the guitar were never going to get along.
All of this to say, I have a reputation of quitting things.
For some reason, unknown to me, I have always had one thing I've wanted to do before I die.
You know some people have a list of things, whether on paper or in their head of accomplishments or things to do before they die? I've always just had one for as long as I can remember.
My one thing is that I want to go out to Colorado and snowboard on the powderpuff mountains of the Rockies.
I agree, it's a strange dream. My family is into summer sports... water sports. We've never been a winter sports family. My parents used to snowmobile but gave that up when we were just small kids so we never got into it... We never did any kind of winter sports. I've never snow skiied or snowboarded, and honestly don't know why I've always had this as a dream. And I've also always realized that if this dream were to come true, I need to learn to snowboard at some point in time. Knowing I have a reputation of quitting things, it was a bit nerve-racking taking that step to learn... because it was something I so badly wanted to love to do.
So come October of 2008 I take a leap and buy a snowboard, never having boarded once in my life... never even snow skiied, never even been to any slopes. I figured that if I bought the board, even if I got discouraged, I'd force myself to keep going because I just dished out so much money for it, I better not waste it. Also, it's something I've always wanted to do... something I've always wanted to love.
This past winter I tried to go out at least once every other week, if not every week. Sunday's are my day off school and just so happens Sundays are the cheap days to go boarding, so it worked out just dandy. I loved every minute of it. Never once did I even get the slightest urge to give up. It was the time of my life... I do not want winter to be over.
To Quit: to stop, cease, or discontinue
I, Ashley Danae Paddock, am a quitter.
Although I am a very competetive person, and in many things refuse to lose, refuse to give up until I've succeeded... or at least until I cannot physically go on any further... in many things, unfortunately, I would be considered a quitter.
I like to try new things. I like new experiences. I look at things other people can do and want them for myself... not in a jealous way, just in a "oh it would be cool if I could do that..." kind of way. So I attempt. And I usually suck at it, so I quit... without giving it a good enough try.
Many things have come easily to me in my life. If something doesn't come easy, and if I think it takes too much work... If I don't get "good" at it rather quickly, I'll quit... I'll deem it not worthy enough of my time. Because I see him and I see her and they are already so good at it... I could never be as good as them... or, at least it would take too much work... I want to already be good, I do not like the learning process.
Many things in life this aspect of my personality does not apply to... but for some, it does. I am trying to think of all the things I've quit in my life... but I can only think of a few. Now there are a handful of things in my life that I've had to quit due to [much hated] physical limitations... these are not what I'm referring to.
The things I'm referring to are the fact that my right hand never agreed with my left hand when trying to play the piano, or that putting strumming patterns together on a guitar was more difficult then desired, or just telling myself that i can't balance so the unicyle should just stay hanging in the garage, or just because heath got better than me at the bass, it had to be over for me... I quit.
I remember one time, several years ago, heath mentioned something to me about how I quit things. I think it was around the time I was thinking about buying a guitar before I knew how to play. At the time I was taken back by the statement, but lets be serious, it was true. And hey, I'm glad I never bought a guitar... me and the guitar were never going to get along.
All of this to say, I have a reputation of quitting things.
For some reason, unknown to me, I have always had one thing I've wanted to do before I die.
You know some people have a list of things, whether on paper or in their head of accomplishments or things to do before they die? I've always just had one for as long as I can remember.
My one thing is that I want to go out to Colorado and snowboard on the powderpuff mountains of the Rockies.
I agree, it's a strange dream. My family is into summer sports... water sports. We've never been a winter sports family. My parents used to snowmobile but gave that up when we were just small kids so we never got into it... We never did any kind of winter sports. I've never snow skiied or snowboarded, and honestly don't know why I've always had this as a dream. And I've also always realized that if this dream were to come true, I need to learn to snowboard at some point in time. Knowing I have a reputation of quitting things, it was a bit nerve-racking taking that step to learn... because it was something I so badly wanted to love to do.
So come October of 2008 I take a leap and buy a snowboard, never having boarded once in my life... never even snow skiied, never even been to any slopes. I figured that if I bought the board, even if I got discouraged, I'd force myself to keep going because I just dished out so much money for it, I better not waste it. Also, it's something I've always wanted to do... something I've always wanted to love.
This past winter I tried to go out at least once every other week, if not every week. Sunday's are my day off school and just so happens Sundays are the cheap days to go boarding, so it worked out just dandy. I loved every minute of it. Never once did I even get the slightest urge to give up. It was the time of my life... I do not want winter to be over.
Friday, March 06, 2009
things eyes hate
- getting shampoo in them
- forcibly being kept open when all they want to do is sleep
- making them study words on a page
......specially when they are tired and have remnants of shampoo in them
- forcibly being kept open when all they want to do is sleep
- making them study words on a page
......specially when they are tired and have remnants of shampoo in them
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
...take me back to the age of innocence...
"the way we're living makes no sense, take me back to the age of innocence..."
--cute is what we aim for--
"i want to know what it's like to be awkward and innocent..."
--motion city soundtrack--
lately i've been trying to remember the time when there was
no pain... no hurt... no worries...
when i thought that my parents were millionaires bcuz we always had what we needed.
when no one i knew had died,
when no one had ever told me i was worthless or unwanted,
when i hadn't ever had a fight with my parents...
back to the time when i didn't even know putting up walls was an option,
and my version of a bad day was heath not letting me play legos with him...
to not even be able to comprehend war and hate and crime and suicide...
to not know that so many christians are cliche...
to go back to that time...
to be awkward and innocent...
i wonder what it'd be like to be in those shoes again...
i wonder what it'd be like to be awkward and innocent again...
--cute is what we aim for--
"i want to know what it's like to be awkward and innocent..."
--motion city soundtrack--
lately i've been trying to remember the time when there was
no pain... no hurt... no worries...
when i thought that my parents were millionaires bcuz we always had what we needed.
when no one i knew had died,
when no one had ever told me i was worthless or unwanted,
when i hadn't ever had a fight with my parents...
back to the time when i didn't even know putting up walls was an option,
and my version of a bad day was heath not letting me play legos with him...
to not even be able to comprehend war and hate and crime and suicide...
to not know that so many christians are cliche...
to go back to that time...
to be awkward and innocent...
i wonder what it'd be like to be in those shoes again...
i wonder what it'd be like to be awkward and innocent again...
Monday, March 02, 2009
passion
what am i passionate about?
[setting aside my passion for Jesus Christ, which I hope will always take priority in my life]
i am passionate about my friends.
for those whom i truly love, i would do anything.
[setting aside my passion for Jesus Christ, which I hope will always take priority in my life]
i am passionate about my friends.
for those whom i truly love, i would do anything.
ode to the big juicy watermelon
currently i am indulging in a fine piece of delicious, red, juicy, cold, watermelon.
this has not taken place since the contest last summer.
at that point in my life its safe to say i never wanted to eat watermelon again.
but tonight... it is so delicious.
this has not taken place since the contest last summer.
at that point in my life its safe to say i never wanted to eat watermelon again.
but tonight... it is so delicious.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
the joy of learning
--things i have learned this week--
1. i never want to live in rochester
2. the fazoli's in rochester didn't close when all the other ones in MN did -- and they still give out unlimited free delicious breadsticks
3. eva joy brandes is a very hospitable person [i was already aware of this, but found out first hand... thanks eva, for everything]
4. professors are very lenient and empathetic when you have to skip a week of school to go to the doctor versus going on vacation
5. if you don't tell anyone that you're leaving town for the week -- they will call and wonder what happened to you
6. no matter where you go you will always find doctors whom you cannot stand
7. i learned what it's like to literally have nothing to do -- it's been a LONG time since this has happened... and i also learned that i can take a 3 hour nap every day if i have the chance
8. if you go to a theater completely wasted, sit in the back row, and yell things out all the time, the police will come and drag you out, no matter how hard you resist
9. it's a lot harder to do hw when you're not in the school setting
10. amish stores will always remind me of julie patricia stoner
11. eva brings her accordian to birthday parties all the time, not just at camp
12. i am still the champ at freecell... and i definately had time to win enough games to proof it.
1. i never want to live in rochester
2. the fazoli's in rochester didn't close when all the other ones in MN did -- and they still give out unlimited free delicious breadsticks
3. eva joy brandes is a very hospitable person [i was already aware of this, but found out first hand... thanks eva, for everything]
4. professors are very lenient and empathetic when you have to skip a week of school to go to the doctor versus going on vacation
5. if you don't tell anyone that you're leaving town for the week -- they will call and wonder what happened to you
6. no matter where you go you will always find doctors whom you cannot stand
7. i learned what it's like to literally have nothing to do -- it's been a LONG time since this has happened... and i also learned that i can take a 3 hour nap every day if i have the chance
8. if you go to a theater completely wasted, sit in the back row, and yell things out all the time, the police will come and drag you out, no matter how hard you resist
9. it's a lot harder to do hw when you're not in the school setting
10. amish stores will always remind me of julie patricia stoner
11. eva brings her accordian to birthday parties all the time, not just at camp
12. i am still the champ at freecell... and i definately had time to win enough games to proof it.
Monday, February 16, 2009
it happens
it's always fun getting hurt when it's doing something that you enjoy...
i mean, it's at least more fun then hurting yourself doing something you don't enjoy...
as i look in the mirror and see a swollen and bruised and scraped face, i grin and kinda chuckle to myself... and think to myself, 'man, i had a good night last night...'
but then again, the whole pulling muscles in my shoulder thing... that's a bit less fun of a reminder... a shoulder is something thats needed in most all ADL's [activities of daily living], so if it gives you excruciating pain whenever you move it the slightest bit, you're screwed... thus, i'm screwed... at least i know it'll heal.
i mean, it's at least more fun then hurting yourself doing something you don't enjoy...
as i look in the mirror and see a swollen and bruised and scraped face, i grin and kinda chuckle to myself... and think to myself, 'man, i had a good night last night...'
but then again, the whole pulling muscles in my shoulder thing... that's a bit less fun of a reminder... a shoulder is something thats needed in most all ADL's [activities of daily living], so if it gives you excruciating pain whenever you move it the slightest bit, you're screwed... thus, i'm screwed... at least i know it'll heal.
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