Friday, May 02, 2008

let it not be mine

Lately I have been thinking of plans for me life... I rarely plan my days out more than one or two days ahead of the here and now, and yet lately it has been in the far future that my plans have been made. I realize, however, that all of these plans are very tenative, as I don't know what God has in store for me in the future... so I need to keep my options open, but also knowing that none of my options might come to be.

So first of all I was thinking about a summer project next summer to Colorado, which I'm not gonna lie I was pretty stoked about, so the jury was still out on if that was my idea I put into my head or God's. Then today I was talking with Jeff and found out he is officially the new youth pastor at Westwood... meaning I can start helping out with the youth group. Not that I couldn't before, but since he was just the interm, I didn't want to only help for a short-while. But I can't know about that until I find out about my schedule in the fall for AT. Also, I don't know if God has me working with the youth group at Westwood, or Awana at Calvary... because that is an option too. And if I work with the youth group at Westwood... it is very likely that we'll be taking a missions trip to India "the untouchables" next summer, in which case I wouldn't be doing the whole summer project thing.

So all this to say, I have a lot to pray about, and a lot of clarity yet to come-- but at the same time I know that I have a lot time to decide about it. But I can't express how much I would love to work along side Jeff with the youth group.... so I can only hope and pray that my AT hours work with the schedule. Which I will be doing... praying, that is.

God, I just ask that you would give me clarity as to what you have in store for me. I want your will to be done in my life, not my own. I ask that you would strip me of my will so that I would not confuse it with yours. It's time for bed.

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