Friday, April 18, 2008

A New Day

So the other day I was thinking back on my life and decided that Aug. 22, 2007 was the worst day of my life. It's the day I found out matt had cancer. I have never cried harder. I was just thinking about that. I've been thinking about the past a lot this semester. Not in a bad way, but with new eyes... with new insight. Reflecting on where I have been, and where I am currently, and how I have changed. I feel like I am night and day from a year ago today even. It blows my mind sometimes when I think about it. Sometimes there are earthly desires to go back to where I was, but those are always fleeting desires.

Then to think back to last semester and how I am night and day even from then.... only in an entirely different sense. Last semester I was so close to dropping out of school and checking into the hospital perminantely... and this semester I feel as healthly as I ever have. It's very strange, for sure. To be honest, I don't ever remember being this healthy... I say that knowing that I am not, but still feeling like I am. And I'm not sure if that season of my life has past completely or I am just on a little vacation from all of my sickness. I mean, there may be a reason that I haven't found out the results of the uptake that I took in Febraury -- I mean, it's a good way to make me not worry about it.

Last night in Bible study we looked at the last half of Ephesians 2, the part that stuck out to me particularly was:

12 remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. 13 But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. 14 For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility 15 by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, 16 and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility.

I liked that Paul was reminding them to remember where they had come from-- because then we can so much more appreciate where we are at now. He was specifically referring to before and after salvation... but I just applied it to all aspects of my life. So many times we forget where we came from and thus are not thankful enough for where we are at currently. So many times I go through my days not thankful for my health because I forget how sickly I was last semester. But those time when I do remember- they are so sweet... and all glory is given to my God.

Today I'm tired... $5 Prom is tonight, so that should be some crazy fun.

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