...results...

i'm trying not to think about it
but when i do it scares the crap out of me
the sixth of september
it's okay to be nervous
right?

there is great possibilities for that day
quite possibly one of the best
or one of the worst days of my life
we have yet to find out

i'm just not going to think about it.
but. what if...
i wouldn't know what to do.
or how to respond.
i thought we've been through this already
i thought there's already been so much pain.
i didn't know more was possible.

but what if the news is good.
i haven't prepared myself for that.
i might not know how to respond to that either.
don't get me wrong.
it'd be the best day of my life.

undoubtably there will be tears either way.
God help me.

Good Tidings Mr. Wentworth

So today I'm watching Prison Break season tres... the whole thing, hah. Now, it's no secret that I find Michael Scofield rather attractive. And I was going to set my status on facebook to something like "Ashley has a wicked crush on Michael Scofield" or "Ashley will undoubtably marry Michael Scofield someday" You know... something to that effect.

This was going to take place until I realized something... The difference between girls and guys. In my opinion, it is "socially acceptable" for girls to say "I have a crush on so and so" or "Isn't so and so hot?" But if a guy says something of the sort, the girls just think he's shallow. Because guys are just visually stimulated, right? That's why we think that... but what else are girls stimulated by when we say we're crushing on some famous person? Is it not just their looks? Lets be seroius, Michael Scofield seems like a good guy, but it's not like we've hung out a whole lot, ya know.

So with this all in mind, my status never said anything of the sort. Because if I saw a guys' status say something of the sort, I would probably lose a little respect... maybe just for a day or two, but nonetheless... So if it's not okay for a guy, why should it be okay for a girl?

So I decided to change that part of my life and not speak of guys in that way. Because let's be serious, God made some pretty attractive ones, but lets not idolize, not matter how small the idolization is.

...a dork, or so to speak.

During practice for AT I have been doing sudoku's to pass the time. However, today I did not have my book with me, so I decided to do something that puts me in the "pencil-neck geek" catergory I think. I made sudoku's. I actually thought it was going to be a lot harder than it actually was. It wasn't hard at all... I tried several different ways of doing it... Like doing the numbers box by box or row by row or just filling in all the 1's then 2's etc. Never try it without an eraser by hand though... I mean, if you ever do it, because by the last box/row/number, you'll have to shift some things around... hah.

...bonfires...

I think that fire will forever make me happy... Tonight we had a very large fire at Joes house and burnt many things that probably should never have been burned. It was amazing. It smelled so bad. Fire is so great.

And that is all I have to say about that.

the walls, sweet walls

So I was a little nervous about living in an apartment due to walls which I thought would be thin and sound would travel oh so sweetly right on through them. But what I've found out today is that my music can be to the volume of my liking, and as I step outside my room, nothing can be heard... and if that isn't the sweetest thing I've ever heard, I don't know what is.

Oh, and once upon a time, a girl liked a boy.

the little thing known as life

Sometimes I forget that 9 months out of the year I have no life... and by that I mean I have too much of a life for anything else (like sleeping). Currently I'm at school 11 hours a day and then I go home to sleep, wake up, and do it all over again.

I thought I was busy last year, but this year I have...

• Classes / Homework
• Athletic Training Hours
• Job
• Youth Group
• Bible Study
• CRU Planning Comity
• Church / College Night

and then maybe I'll get to hang out with friends for an hour per week, maybe.

But what I realized today while at youth group, was that in the past I have always felt that i 'had no life' because I was so busy with everything and got no time to rest... but what I realized tonight was that this is the best life could be. Investing in kids' lives is so rewarding... studying God's Word is the best thing I could be doing with my life... planning things to draw people into God's family is way better than sleeping. Church... my family and friends who build me up and take care of me when needed - this is crucial. So where in the past I've thought of them all as just another thing to keep me way too busy, I now see as true life... these are the things that make life worth living...

yet another place to call home

819 5th Ave. S. Apt. #304
St. Cloud, MN 56301


I am posting this only so I will have it once I get back to camp. Because something tells me if I write it on a piece of paper that paper will not end of going to camp with me. This is a fail-safe way of doing it.

The Art of Eating Watermelon: An Inside Look

A couple weeks ago out at camp it was brought to my attention that people would be consuming 1/2 a watermelon in a contest format. I thought to myself, "NBD, that sounds easy." Come the night of the contest, the format had changed a bit -- it was no longer 1/2 a watermelon that each person had to consume, but now it was the entire watermelon. Being as I know many random facts, I knew that watermelon was 98% water. This was an encouragement to me. I thought that meant it would be easy.

Here's the thing I didn't take into consideration: water is very filling, and is capable of making one feel bloated very quickly. The pain. The physical pain. It was so intense. My stomach has never screamed at me as it did that night.

Thoughts on 1st half of the watermelon: "This is no big deal, it should be easy"
Thoughts on 2nd half of the watermelon: "Please, anything but this"


First Place: Guy - 21 minutes 45 seconds.
Second Place: Steve - 36 minutes 36 seconds
Third Place: Josh - 41 minutes 07 seconds
Fourth Place: Ashley - 61 minutes 24 seconds
Fifth Place: Cassie - Threw up at 42 minutes 53 seconds, finished 51 minutes 48 seconds


One thing that I think needs to be added is how watermelon, when consumed at that quantity, clears out a system. Almost instantaneously after I was finished eating it, I was in the bathroom and it was all coming out... and it kept coming for quite some time. But I think that's all I have to say about that.